He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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