Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize