yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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