I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
