I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
