I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
