your parents love me but you hate me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
