And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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