the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I understand Curling. That high.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize