tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
