you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
