if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
