Porn is love you can see.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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