And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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