I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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