I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize