So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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