We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
dude. I can hear the air.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
