Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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