shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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