Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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