Can i not drive my cunt home
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
