I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
