Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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