i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish I only lived at night.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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