Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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