idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize