all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
