I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
