He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am naked and annoyed.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
