me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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