I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
