Pappa wants mamma naked
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I supernannyed him into submission
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