She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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