I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
