i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
