His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
