Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My dick has a subreddit
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
