white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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