I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
