I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
