I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
