There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
