HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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