Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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