I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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