so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
