mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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