hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She's the barista slut.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
