Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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