That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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