Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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