Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
two words...techno handjob
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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