adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
