Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
