I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
