I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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