did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
