Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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