how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
