O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
