yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
