Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
