it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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