Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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