This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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