hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
