you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
